Oh Diapers!
by cgaussie01
Summary: Megamid should have left the Reset Button alone. What becomes of him brings Roxanne, Minion, and Music Man together to try and fix it, and him. TBC


The last thing Roxanne imagined opening her door to this morning was a stricken Minion carrying something small and blue wrapped in what she could only guess was Megaminds cape. It certainly was black enough, and had the blue lightning bolts but still... what?

"Minion? What is it, what's happened?" she asked, bracing for the worst as she pulled the door open so the robot bodied fish could enter her loft.

"Oh Miss Ritchi it was horrible, absolutely horrible!" the fish babbled as he rushed into the room, making sure not to step on the ends of the cape or get it caught in the doors. His master hated it when that happened to his clothes, as did he since he was the one to stitch up the problems. "Sir was looking back into his reset button despite me telling him it was pointless since he himself admitted to the science being impossible but well you know how Sir is he always has to try things even against his better judgment or my own judgment and-"

"Woah woah woah!" Roxanne held her hands up in a time out motion, "Take a breath before you pass out from lack of oxy-er, water." she moved forward, placing a hand to the fake gorilla furred fish's arm. "Start at the beginning." her eyes glanced to the bundle but it was covered up enough so she couldn't really work out what it was yet.

"Well, like... like I was saying," Minion said after taking a few breaths, "Sir was looking into his reset button. You know, to start things all over again. I asked him why, since well. Things are great now, but he said something about not giving up on things just because they're impossible. Well, there he was one second putting the last touches on his machine and the next everything went kind of... bluey wavey lightning-like." Minion went on to explain to the best of his abilities, but how could one explain time rewinding itself like an old VHS tape? Kind of impossible.

"Oh no." Roxanne winced, "So... where...?"

"Here." Minion pulled back the cape to reveal what Roxanne had been dreading.

There in his arms was Megamind, but not the blue alien that she knew and loved. He was much smaller, in fact he was much younger too. The beard was gone. As was the spiky black clothing. He was a baby, and thankfully he was a baby that was fast asleep and sucking on a glowing binky.

Roxanne fought the urge to shudder, gasp, scream, flinch, pull away, and many other reactions some would have in this situation. Even fainting was out of the question because come on, she had faced some pretty dangerous things in her life and a baby version of an alien was the least threatening thing she had ever come across. But it was still jarring.

"Oh... wow." she said as she gently reached out and touched his violet cheek with the back of her finger. He was very warm. Chubbier then she would have imagined him to be too. "How... uh. What.. can you fix it?" she asked, glancing up at the fish.

"Despite my magic at a sewing machine and welder, I'm not really a genius like Sir is. Not in the technological aspects of time reversal and resetting things." the fish admitted sadly, looking down at the baby. "Oh Sir, I've let you down...!"

"You haven't let him down Minion," Roxanne started but the fish interrupted her.

"I did! I was supposed to look after him and look what happened! He's taking naps and it's not even twelve! He was crying the entire time coming over here and he's just now fallen asleep again! I don't know what to do, for once I have no idea what I can do to fix this!"

Roxanne had to admit the out look didn't look very good. Was Megamind stuck in this baby stage? Or was he just going to... grow again? Would he have any memory of what had happened in his life or had that been swiped clean? Was he once again an innocent baby, with no grasp of good or bad? She looked down at the sleeping baby in Minions arms, and he slowly rolled onto his side, tiny blue hands gripping at the cape.

"Sit down, come on..." Roxanne guided Minion to her couch and watched as he sat down, still cradling the alien baby. "So... how young...?" she asked.

"My guess at around a week old." Minion replied, holding Megamind in one hand now while the other tugged the cape up around him more snugly. "He can't walk yet, but he's definitely aware of his surroundings."

"Wait." the woman interrupted this time, "Of course he can't walk or talk yet, a week old? He'll be lucky if he can lift his head by himself!"

"Oh no." Minion shook his fishy body for a 'no' movement. "You don't understand the growth rate of his race! See, they can normally sit up, handle tools and machinery, and are quite aware of what is around them by this age. Walking normally happens at the two month mark, and talking at four months, maybe five if the child is especially slow. Sir though, he started talking about the same time he started walking. He's very gifted." Minion was doing his best impression of a proud parent.

Roxanne stared at the fish blankly, then back at the dozing baby. She had no idea Megamind had... well. Developed so quickly. So he was talking and walking by the time he was six months old? And handling machinery? Was that even safe? Her mind buzzed with questions with no answers while Minion continued talking, now something about potty training but she wasn't really 'here' to take it all in. But after waking herself from her stupor she decided it was probably best the only other alien on the planet (that she was aware of) should come over and see if he could do anything to help them out. One short phone call later help was on the way, but since he couldn't fly anymore they knew it would take a while for 'Music Man' to appear.

"Say Roxanne you haven't got any bananas that I can mash up do you?" Minion asked who was suddenly up and in the kitchen, the baby Megamind still dozing in one of his arms peacefully.

"Sure yeah lemme get them..." Roxanne retrieved the fruit as well as a bowl and began peeling the bananas.

"Let me, please." Minion said as he walked over before pausing, and gave Roxanne a look. He could surely trust her with holding the young Sir, couldn't he? She wouldn't dare drop him. She was female, after all and women (almost) always get clucky over young baby things. "Here." he gingerly handed the baby over, and Roxanne looked taken aback that this was happening to her. Then again, she had been perplexed the entire morning.

She stared down at the baby, who was much heavier then she might have guessed too. He looked like a baby who was at least a few months old, not just eight days old. Roxanne suddenly felt very sorry for Megaminds mother, in fact all women in his race, since birthing something with such a big head must have been QUITE painful. Still, she smiled and rocked him gently, and did her best to ignore the ticking of her biological clock which suddenly sounded too loud for her comfort. "But why are you making food for him he isn't awake." she pointed out.

"His naps only last fifteen minutes at best, and they happen every four hours on the dot." Minion said, "And it has been fifteen minutes right aboooouuuuuuuuuuutttt..." he looked at her clock, more importantly the second hand as it slowly ticked down towards the twelve. Once it struck, "Now."

The baby's bright green eyes opened on that split second and he yawned around his binky, even went so far as to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

"Wow. That's impressive." Roxanne admitted, watching him. Megaminds eyes landed on her and he stared blankly before, she swore, she saw a spark of recognition in his eyes. He suddenly giggled and clapped his hands together at her. "Uh I... think he remembers me?" she asked Minion who had just finished mashing the bananas.

"Oh good! I was hoping he would, that means his memory hasn't been wiped clean!" the fish gushed as he walked over to the two and leaned over so he wasn't towering over his young master too much. "Are you hungry Sir? I've got some mashed bananas, just how you like them."

The baby gurgled something, still clapping his hands. It wasn't long until Roxanne was sitting on her couch holding the baby Megamind while Minion sat opposite her, holding a bowl of mashed bananas and a spoon in order to feed the young alien.

"Here comes the nuclear missile to spread devastation!" Minion sung as he moved the spoon to the baby's mouth, to which Megamind opened his mouth wide. The fish reacted with sounds of a bomb going off and even a few screams and shrieks of dismay and horror, though it was done cutely enough.

"Whatever happened to the aeroplane or the choo choo train?" Roxanne asked.

"Too boring. Though we have had the airplane colliding with a cave!" the fish reacted brightly.

"Of course." she rolled her eyes.

It wasn't long until the Calvary arrived. At the next knocking on the door, Roxanne was grateful to see the ex-super hero of the city standing before her. "I came as quickly as I could, you said it was an emergency?" he asked as he walked in, putting a hand to her shoulder in concern. "You aren't being threatened with kidnapping from a new villain are you?"

"No no it's-" she stared until interrupted by the baby Megamind who made a very unflattering noise at the arrival of Music Man.

"Oh my God you've had his baby?" Music Man asked, spotting the baby and rushing in right away before kneeling in front of him. Minion, who had been sitting on the floor with the baby quickly pulled him into his arms protectively. "Does the Media know about this? This will be all over the news. Wait. How long were you... I know his species grows quickly but I never would have-"

"He's not her baby." Minion said indignantly, turning his nose up as best he could since he had no nose. "It IS him."

"Oh... wow."

"That's exactly what I said." Roxanne said as she joined the boys on the floor, tucking her skirt under her as she did. "How long has he been like this now Minion?"

"Exactly four point two hours." Minion replied. He then explained to Music Man just what happened, about the reset button, the machine malfunctioning, and Megamind ending up as a week old all over again. "We were hoping maybe... you could do something? Like, maybe fly around the planet in the opposite direction to cause the planet to turn backwards thus rewind time and go back and stop him from trying to finish the project?" he asked, fins spreading in hope.

"I'm afraid that's not scientifically plausible. Just because the planet would be going backwards on its axis would not cause the earth to go in reverse. It would just cause a lot of tidal waves and earthquakes." Music Man replied as he stroked his bearded chin in thought.

"Well that's a bummer." the fish said grumpily.

"Don't I know it." Music Man scoffed. "In fact there is scientifically no way to travel backwards in time but-"

"Excuse me but what is this?" Roxanne asked, gesturing to the baby who was still glaring at Music Man as if he stole his binky.

"This isn't time travel." Music Man pointed out, "This is a time flux. They are two different things. He's been displaced IN time, not OUT of time. There's nothing we can do but hope the effects wear off, or simply let him grow all over again."

"Puberty. Again?" Minion asked, devastated by the idea. Megamind had been a nuclear bomb of hormones and angst during those years, he didn't want to go through it again! And high school in itself! Would anyone else buy that this was Megamind and not Roxanne's baby? Music Man had been right! It would get all over the media! Dead beat Megamind leaves Roxanne to raise their baby with Minion? Imagine the tabloids! He began hyper ventilating.

"Calm down, calm down!" Roxanne said, going over to the fish and rubbed his shoulders despite knowing he couldn't feel it. "Maybe it will wear off in time. We don't know that! None of us are as smart as he is. None of us." she added, looking down at the baby.

Music Man observed the child too. He, unlike Megamind, didn't have a good memory. The first memory he had of meeting the blue alien was in grade school, seeing this skinny blue headed kid walk into the school holding a bowling ball with a fish in it. How long ago was all that now? Over twenty years at least. Now that he understood the alien, he felt... bad. Horribly bad about what he had done, as well as the class in general. They had picked on the different kid, a scape goat, and look what happened.

He didn't like guilt, not at all. Nor this feeling of helplessness. These were feelings he never really experienced before and now that he was, he felt like he was better off before. What could he do? He wouldn't dare go to the lab and try to fix the problem, for he knew Megamind was smarter than him when it came to technology. The worst outcome was he too becoming a baby all over again, and that wasn't something he wanted to experience again.

He furrowed his brows before shaking his head. There was nothing he could do about the past, nor the present predicament. "I say we wait it out. Give it a day. If nothing happens after that... one of you two is going to have to build a nursery."

Both Minion and Roxanne groaned but their joined annoyance was interrupted when Megamind suddenly burst into tears. It seemed as though he wasn't that happy with having little to no attention, and waved his fists as he made with the fussy tears. Minion looked down at him and reached for him, but Roxanne got there first and lifted the fussing baby into her arms.

"Must admit I never thought I'd be doing this." she mumbled as the green eyed alien fell silent straight away and stared up at her blankly.

"Yes, not really something you would expect to see..." Music Man agreed before smirking faintly. "Roxy, are you sure you want to hold him?"

"What, why?" she asked.

"I think he's copping a feel." he pointed casually, to which the baby rightly stuck his tongue out at him.

"What? Oh! Take him here!" Roxanne quickly handed him over to Minion, her face now a bright red color before wrapping her arms around herself. Now that was something she hadn't anticipated at all. Naturally, once in Minion's arms, Megamind fussed a little but the fish seemed quite adept at putting up with the aliens fussing. No wonder, since he had been putting up with it all his life.

"Sorry Miss Ritchi. You know what boys are like." Minion said with a casual kind of smile, all the time making a mental note to scold his master once he could.

Music Man was soon off, wishing them the best and going so far as to pat the top of Megaminds head. The baby obviously didn't appreciate it since he squirmed and wriggled in Minion's arms, glaring at him as menacingly as a baby could. Once he was gone Roxanne and Minion stared at each other for a moment before the fish blinked, and glanced at the door.

"Well I hate to trouble you I guess I should be going..." he started.

"Uh, do you have a proper place to put him? I mean when he sleeps?" Roxanne asked as Megamind began gumming at his binky contentedly.

"Oh sure. I do, no problems. I hate to be a bother. I'll call you tomorrow morning to let you know what's going to happen okay? Well, I mean as much as I know what's going to happen." Minion replied as he tugged the cape around Megamind more soundly. He could make a stop at a baby store before going home, he could always use the disguise watch... could he do the same thing for the baby Megamind? Then they wouldn't be hassled by people. Yes, that was a good idea. He turned his attention back to Roxanne and smiled. "Don't look so worried. We've had some real messes in the past, we'll get through this."

"Yeah. Yeah I know... thanks. I think I needed to hear that..." Roxanne admitted quietly, not one to really voice her fears or concern and feeling suddenly very grateful Minion was as perceptive as he was.

He then gave her a one armed hug, another smile, and was gone.

Roxanne shut the door behind him and stood in the room a moment before grabbing the empty bowl and spoon, clean of banana. Carrying it through to the kitchen she began to clean the bowl before pausing. The sound of running water filled the loft and she took a shuddering breath.

"My boyfriend's a baby." she muttered to herself, before continuing with the task at hand and certainly not thinking about the complications this whole thing was bringing up.


End file.
